(Some of…) The Best Advice I Have Ever Been Given

“Allowing circumstances to dictate your future is a terrible strategy.  Drive outcomes for your own success.”
Joe Mullings

Recently, I came across a post from a friend of mine who is a high school teacher and basketball coach; she was asked to give one piece of advice or guidance for an athlete.  This got me thinking, “what was the most influential thing a coach, instructor, mentor, or professor has ever said to me?” I thought about all of the things that I have been told to motivate or inspire me over the years and was imagining a Sylvester Stallone in Rocky type speech about getting up after getting knocked down or maybe a Muhammad Ali or even Mike Tyson speech; just raw, emotional, real … inspiring.  Throughout my years of competition on all different levels there have been plenty of those moments but one in particular kept coming up…and it was none of what I just described; it was three simple words …

You deserve it.

I’m not sure exactly when these words were spoken to me and can guarantee that I had no idea the impact that they would have on my life or the way in which they would resonate with me.  I do know that my swim coach, whom I admire and have a relationship with to this day, Butch Jordan, was the one that told it to me when I was in middle school or maybe freshman year at the latest.  I’m not even sure exactly what happened but can guarantee that it was not said with love.  These wise words came after some sort of disappointment or failure and I’m almost certain it came after I failed to make a set. Essentially, I moved myself up to a faster interval and I wasn’t fast enough, I fell off the back, I got lapped, I showed the team and myself that I wasn’t good enough to swim with those folks.

To set the scene, we are at swim practice and I’m swimming with my normal group, who are more or less just as good as I am, when it comes time for the main set, instead of staying with my group, I don’t say anything, I just move over a lane to a faster interval, with the “big boys”.  The Hollywood story, the “Rocky Moment”, or the “Rudy Experience” never came; it ended just the way it should have; with me falling off the back, embarrassed, angry, not good enough.  As I stop mid-set, scrambling to get out of people’s way and go back over to my original group, Butch looks over and simply says, “You deserve it.”

It may have taken 20 years, but I think I finally understand what my coach was trying to tell me all those years ago.  You deserve it.  Whatever happens, whatever the outcome, whatever the circumstances you find yourself in, whatever goals you accomplished or failed at … you deserve it.  So, you couldn’t cut it with the big boys and failed? You deserve it.  You deserve it because you haven’t worked hard enough, sacrificed enough, or done enough to be there. There’s more work to be done. You succeeded and accomplished that goal? You deserve it.  You put the work in, you made the sacrifices, you put the time in, and you deserve every last bit of the satisfaction that comes with accomplishing a big goal.

You deserve it.
Following this line of thinking allows me to revel in the land of self-accountability and ownership.  I am responsible for the successes and accomplishments; likewise, I am responsible for the failures and the mishaps.  So, if I am responsible for these things then by default, I also have the power to change them.  I can change my success into failures and similarly my failures into successes.  What it comes down to is mindset and motivation.

Mindset and Motivation.
Is the mindset a positive or a negative one?  Is the motivation to put in the work, put in the time, and do the hard things there?  Having these two components working flawlessly and in synchronicity with one another is the key to any type of significant change.  Normally, but not always, a negative mindset coincides with a lack of motivation and vice versa, a positive mindset coincides with drive and motivation.  From my experience, motivation follows mindset, meaning if I have a positive mindset then I’ll get motivated; if I have a negative mindset then I’ll probably procrastinate and experience a deep lack of motivation.  One of the most interesting things about mindset is that we can easily change it.

By simply telling yourself that you are in a positive state of mind or only telling yourself positive things and exploring positive ideas, will inevitably change your perspective and motivation will soon follow.  That simple change of perspective is the key.  By changing your perspective of a situation your mind simply reacts to this new perspective and new, more positive pathways, are created.  Essentially you are tapping into a positive energy source and letting it influence your thoughts and emotions rather than giving into a negative, dark state.

This is embodied in the everyday saying “good vibes”.  The vibes (short for “human vibrations” but that entire subject is a topic for another day) you put out are the vibes you’ll attract and influence your overall state…therefore, “it’s all about good vibes.”

This has never been truer than for big events: your first trail race, your first ultra, your first 100-miler, a job interview, or even your wedding.  The state of mind you keep along with your ability to change perspective when you feel things going negatively will have a bigger influence on the outcome than any of the physical training you have done.

At the end of the day, just remember; it’s all about good vibes and you deserve it. 

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