By HPRS Staff Columnist Jacob Stevens
What the F@#$ is a Real Runner Anyways?
As I eagerly anticipated the start of the 32nd edition of The Vermont Endurance 100 Mile Run this past July, my gaze fell upon my fellow Grand Slammers, a couple of friends who were running the Last Great Race (the six oldest trail races in America in one summer), and of course my buddy Walter who is attempting what he calls “a half hundred hundreds” (50 100 mile races in 52 weeks), and instead of jubilation or anticipation I couldn’t help but think to myself, “I don’t belong here.” I have been an endurance athlete my entire life and running ultras for two and a half years, this was my 17th ultra race and 7th 100 mile run, and in fact, I would finish 64th out of 322 to starters…yet I still felt like I didn’t belong.
The need to fit in is something that I think we all strive for on a fundamental and even sub-conscious level; even in high school being “against the teams” (team sports and jocks) becomes a team. Personally, I was popular in high school by default: my brother, a senior when I was a freshman, was “the cool guy”, i.e. one of the state/nation’s top wrestlers, partier, drinker, and all around badass. I, on the other hand, made good grades, read books, wore banana hammocks (I was a swimmer), and was in bed by 9:00 pm…even on weekends; who am I kidding…it was closer to 8:30; so I never quite felt like I fit in. Fast forward nearly 20 years and I’m still feeling like I don’t belong.
I strive to be a “real runner”, whatever the hell that means. I thought if I ran 100 miles I would be or feel like an ultra runner…nope. Well, everyone runs 100 miles, I naively thought to myself, so if I run two then I’m definitely a “real ultra runner”…negative ghost rider. Maybe if I attempt the Grand Slam of Ultrarunning I’ll be a real runner…nice try Jacob. The fact of the matter is I have no idea what a “real runner” is or how I can be/feel like one. This is an issue that I think we all struggle with at some point in our running lives and an issue in which I believe comes down to that fundamental feeling of fitting in.
The fact of the matter is that if you regularly or semi-regularly lace up a pair of shoes and head out the door then you are a real runner, plain and simple. The idea that there is a set of standards by which we should judge ourselves by or launch a futile attempt to live up to is a conscious effort to self-sabotage and quite frankly, bullshit. There are people who are way more qualified than I am to tell you why we do things like this and the psychological reasoning behind it all but all I know is that at the end of the day, after 35 runs of 50 km or more (yes I have logged them all) and averaging 69 miles of running per week, every week, for this entire calendar year (thank you Strava), I still struggle with the idea that I’m a “real runner”.
We have one of our favorite apps, Strava, along with social media, running websites who focus on the elites and a plethora of other outlets as well as our own self doubt to blame for this. No matter what you do there will always be someone out there who does it better and to quote the late Teddy Roosevelt, “comparison is the thief of joy.”
So stop comparing yourself, log some miles that you don’t upload to social media, and get out there and have some fun outside because if you are reading this article I would bet my bank account that you are not only a part of this community but you belong in this community. You are awesome, you are inspiring, and you are a runner.