By HPRS Staff Columnist Jacob Stevens
“People think success, or a good life or whatever is when you are happy and cozy. Anyone can be happy and cozy. Nothing good ever comes from happy and cozy…great achievements and accomplishments aren’t made when you are happy and cozy.” ~Alex Honnold
Somewhere between Williams and Ashland, Oregon, in the Siskiyou Mountains I found myself in quite a predicament: it was somewhere between 3:00 – 4:00 am, I had been up for close to 24 hours, was around 70 miles into a 100 mile race, and I was finished: done, tapped out, ready to throw in the towel, my race was over. Unfortunately for me, the words spoken before the start of this section were not promising in the least; I was told that I would make it to the next aid station as I had no choice, there was no access for any type of rescue vehicle, meaning if something were to happen then someone has to go get help then a team would have to hike in and extract me…or the sweepers would find me; either way it would be a good four to six hours before any help would come.
So, what did I do? I resolved to follow my mantra, “make it to the morning.” I figured if I could just make it to the morning, I would be okay, and I could make final decisions then. So with a resolve to get from Siskiyou Gap to the aid station at mile 80 known as Grouse Gap I did what any sane, motivated, runner in my situation would do…I turned off my headlamp, laid down on the side of the trail, and took a nap. Two runners came upon me, woke me up, and we all proceeded to get to Grouse Gap; on the way in we actually ran into a search party looking for a couple of missing runners so needless to say it was a tense few miles.
I have DNF’d (Did Not Finish) three 100-mile races for three different reasons. My first DNF came at the 2017 Rio Del Lago 100-Miler where I fell during a descent and tore some ligaments in my foot, then at the 2018 Angel Fire 100-Mile Endurance Run I suffered from altitude sickness, and finally at the 2019 Leadville Trail 100 I missed the 18-hour cutoff by 18 minutes. All of these can, and have been, rationalized and at the end of the day I am okay with 2/3 of them. During the 2017 Rio Del Lago 100 I injured myself while falling down a mountain, so I vowed to learn how to become a better technical downhill runner which I now consider one of my strengths, at the Leadville 100 I did not plan for the quick 100k cutoff, there is a reason they say that Leadville is a race to 100k and I found out the hard way, poor planning on my part and I vowed never to miss a cutoff due to not being aware or being unprepared, however; at Angel Fire, with plenty of time left on the clock, I quit in the chair. This is the one that still bothers me to this day, 2 years later.
During a 100-mile race, or any ultra-distance race for that matter, things are going to get hard…extremely hard. You will experience a pain that you never thought was possible and will go to places within yourself that you have never been. This can be incredibly scary and if you do not have a plan to deal with the adverse scenarios then it can be incredibly tough to find your way to the finish line. I legitimately had a 20-minute conversation with myself at The Crazy Desert 100k about how bad it would hurt to throw myself in front of a long horn bull…if the bull injured me and I couldn’t continue then I wouldn’t have to technically quit but wouldn’t have to run anymore either; these are the places your mind will go. Over the years I have found a few tricks to help along the way but the most important and helpful, for myself, is to have a mantra: a few simple words or a phrase that means something to you and that will motivate you.
One of the best pieces of advice I have ever heard was from Andy Jones Wilkins; I am not sure if this advice is his personally or a reference to a friend of his but essentially the vow is to never quit in the chair at an aid station. If you want to quit that is fine but do it on the trail. Get out of the chair, get moving, and get away from the aid station, AND THEN decide as to whether or not you can continue. From a psychological perspective this is genius, remember, no great achievements or accomplishments come from happy and cozy, and in that chair or at that aid station you are nothing but happy and cozy.
Personally, the mantra of “make it to the morning” is what works for me. I have found that running through the night can be one of the most difficult tasks of a race so if I can just make it through the night then the sunrise, brushing my teeth, and the dawn of a new day will rejuvenate me and renew my motivation…and if it doesn’t then that is okay too but at least I gave myself every opportunity to feel good about continuing. Therefore, I have made a promise to myself which is to simply make it to the morning. I am committed to this, so much so that I have the phrase tattooed on my body. On one hand is the word “promesa” while on the other is “a la mañana”, that is, “promise” and “to the morning”.
There is a lot of talk about finding your “why”. Your “why” is simply your reason for taking on such a daunting task and what will supposedly help you keep going when all you want to do is quit. The “why” is traditionally something very deep, very thoughtful, and with deep seeded emotional roots. People run for a cause or to bring awareness to a disease such as autism or cancer while others will make a promise to an elderly family member such as a parent or maybe to their children with the hope being that when the going gets really tough they’ll be able to “do it for grandpa” or “finish to show my kids how to overcome adversity”, however; although noble, the truth of the matter is that none of the aforementioned “why’s” are good enough. As David Goggins eloquently talked about, running to raise money for kids with Down syndrome is great and admirable but at 3 or 4 am when you can’t eat without throwing up, you are hallucinating, your feet are bleeding, and every step feels like the hardest and most painful thing you have ever done in your life; those kids do not matter, the money you are raising does not matter, your grandpa or your kids do not matter…you’re going to need something else. This sport is brutally selfish and all consuming.
Your “why” is not BS but it also is not going to motivate you to get to the finish line when it really matters; primarily because your “why” is complex and after 80 miles your brain simply can’t process or handle complex…it needs simplicity. Enter the mantra. Make the mantra meaningful, emotional, and most importantly, simple. My mantra is simply “make it to the morning”, and if I forget, I have it tattooed on my body so at any point I can look down and remember, “oh yes, I made a promise to myself to simply make it to the morning” and I can handle that. Nice. Easy. Simple.
HPRS’s toughest 100-mile race is The Silverheels 100-Mile Endurance Run, with an average elevation of 11,000 feet it is second only to The Hardrock 100 when it comes to high altitude races over 100 miles in the US. This race will challenge you in ways that you never thought possible and is completely unforgiving; one thing is for sure: if you plan on finishing you better have your “why”, your mantra, and your “A” game on point. So, take a little time to look into yourself and truly ask yourself what it will take to give yourself the best possible chance to make it to the finish line. You don’t have to get it tattooed on you, but you better make sure it will do the trick! Remember that YOU are awesome, YOU are amazing, YOU are worth it, and we will see you in Fairplay on July 11th.