By HPRS Staff Columnist Jacob Stevens
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of those depths.” – Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
After more than 72 hours with only 3 hours of sleep I sat there quiet, still, afraid…defeated. I couldn’t make it to the finish line, I knew that…and I began to cry; it was all too much, just way too much. I was around mile 195 of a 208.4-mile race in the Sangre De Cristo mountain range and I simply wanted to close my eyes and never have to exert the energy to open them again. Soon the runners in the 100-mile race began to approach the portion of trail I was on and it wasn’t long before I heard someone say, “hey man, are you okay?” I looked up and it was my friend Elle, she immediately recognized me, could see things weren’t okay and told me how inspiring what I was doing, and what we all were doing, was. A few others passed with encouraging words and then I was once again alone; it was here I had an epiphany, or as close to one a man in my position could have, I realized that this was simple, to finish this race I simply needed to be what they all thought I was; what my wife who was waiting for me at the finish line, and had been for nearly 3.5 days, thought I was. So that is what I did…for the next 13.1(ish) miles and 7 hours I pretended to be the soon to be 208.4-mile finisher who was happy, smiling, and positive that they all thought I was.
In my mind I was pretending to be someone who I thought I wasn’t but in reality, I was that person; now I understand that I have an extremely hard time handling any type of success on any level and that this is a defense mechanism and yada yada yada…all of that stuff you’ll find in a therapist’s notebook somewhere but the concept that this experience has led me to is that the mind cannot be trusted in dire situations. The mind can manipulate and bend realities and create false narratives that seem so real you genuinely believe them in your core. This may all sound a little crazy but just talk to any person who has ever had a hallucination; particularly a person who has had one while attempting to run 100 miles or more. The experience from the perception of the person actively engaged in it is frighteningly real. In another race four years ago, Ralph, the talking hippopotamus who appeared in the forest of the Sierra Nevada mountain range in Northern California was throwing down life lessons in the late-night hours which I still live by.
So, if we can’t trust our minds, what do we trust and how do we do that?
Your head can make a lot of “noise” if you will but being able to push that aside and to truly tune in and listen to your heart and your being is where you’ll find the answers and discover who you truly are. If this is simply not possible, such as the case with me, there is another way. We have to program ourselves to be who we want to be through repetition. Let’s take the 100-mile distance for example with the specific goal of finishing the race. Most will tell you that the first thing you need to do is believe that you can finish it; well, if you are like me that is not possible; so, we need a work around. The work around is much simpler than you may think: hard work. That’s it, hard work.
It is extremely hard to just turn “it” on come race day in your head to be able to get that split second picture of you crossing the finish line; you have to put together a lot of days that turn into a lot of weeks that turn into a lot of months of hard work to be able to go out and get that 5-second finish line photo. This is true for absolutely every distance but more importantly it is true for every aspect of your life. Anything that you want to change about yourself or goal you want to accomplish is going to take consistent hard work. That race finish, that job, that degree, that promotion, that recognition…it will take time. As Tom Clancy said, “an overnight success is ten years in the making.”
With the race season quickly approaching it is important that we keep in mind the principle behind every single aspect of success, however it is that you define it: consistency. We need to be consistent not only in our routines but in our thoughts, words, and beliefs as well. By doing this we are able to bypass the mind and train our beings to be who we truly are and express ourselves when the mind is not capable of doing so.
As we begin to start returning to racing and the more competitive aspects of our sport after the winter and begin to take on challenges that are a bit scary or fear-inducing, I want to ask you to remember why we run these races in the first place. Define YOUR definition of success and hold true to that. I have an ongoing relationship with an exceptionally good Psychotherapist and Conscious Awareness Coach and I would like to share part of our latest text exchange which I received the day I am writing this. If we simply follow these words not only will we be better people but we may just find our lives to be a little bit smoother and little more laid back…
“Remember, meet the fear with love. Meet blame with forgiveness, meet worry with acceptance, and meet judgement with compassion. To do this start with forgiving yourself, accepting what is, and being compassionate with yourself from who you truly are. Much Love”
– Noel Nue